Wendy Gets Busy:
I realize owning a sheep is a huge responsibility. There is an infinite amount of skill necessary to produce a happy ewe. So while Bubba has been stuffing his face with copious amounts of chocolate hazelnut cupcakes (He posted a picture of the cupcakes. Did he send you any Farmgirl? NOOoooooo..... Who do you think is going to eat all of those? He's a greedy little bugger!) I have been busy sharpening my sheep raising skills.
1.SHEEP SHEARING..I have spent the last 2 weeks growing out the hair on my legs. Using my husbands beard trimmer I have been practicing my shearing skills. I have done quite well. No second cuts, and I only nicked my fetlock once(thats sheep talk for ankle).
2.DETERMINING THE AGE OF SHEEP...Since I am a barmaid, I no longer ask for I.D. to determine that a person is 21. I now pry open their mouths and look for wear patterns on their teeth.
3.CHECKING FOR SUITABILITY OF A FLOCK SIRE...Now when a date comes to pick up my lovely daughter,I feel their hair for crimp and fineness. I also check for proper confirmation by making the young man jog back and forth in the kitchen. Of course I check for proper muscle tone:)
4.CASTRATING...Any date not suitable for future son in law is quickly dealt with. This would be any that have purple hair,body piercings,tattoos,or a tee shirt that says I love to party.I am quite handy with a elasticator.5.TAGGING SHEEP...Last night while my husband slept,I ear tagged him. Have you ever seen a grown man cry? From now on he is to be reffered to as sheep number 165.
6.SHEEP DOG...Every good shepherd needs a proper sheep dog. Unfortunately all I have available is a very fluffy american eskimo. Not a problem. Please see #1. A little shearing and some carefully applied black spots I cut out of post it notes, and now I have a very good likeness of a border collie. He hasnt herded anything yet, but he did growl at me.I am the shepherd.I also will not bathe for three more days so I can become accustomed to the smell of my charge.
And Knocks Out A Few Competitors:
Great bread you baked there Kitchenmage! But it doesnt change the fact that LARB sounds like the noise a sheep would make if it got hold of a bad salt lick...LARB,GAG,PATOOEY,PATOOEY! Go ahead Farmgirl and Kitchenmage and try this. Stick your tongue out. No... I said stick your tongue way out,all the way out as far as it will go. Now pretend you just ate the most rancid cashew ever and say... LARB,GAG,PATOOEY,PATOOEY!
I realize owning a sheep is a huge responsibility. There is an infinite amount of skill necessary to produce a happy ewe. So while Bubba has been stuffing his face with copious amounts of chocolate hazelnut cupcakes (He posted a picture of the cupcakes. Did he send you any Farmgirl? NOOoooooo..... Who do you think is going to eat all of those? He's a greedy little bugger!) I have been busy sharpening my sheep raising skills.
1.SHEEP SHEARING..I have spent the last 2 weeks growing out the hair on my legs. Using my husbands beard trimmer I have been practicing my shearing skills. I have done quite well. No second cuts, and I only nicked my fetlock once(thats sheep talk for ankle).
2.DETERMINING THE AGE OF SHEEP...Since I am a barmaid, I no longer ask for I.D. to determine that a person is 21. I now pry open their mouths and look for wear patterns on their teeth.
3.CHECKING FOR SUITABILITY OF A FLOCK SIRE...Now when a date comes to pick up my lovely daughter,I feel their hair for crimp and fineness. I also check for proper confirmation by making the young man jog back and forth in the kitchen. Of course I check for proper muscle tone:)
4.CASTRATING...Any date not suitable for future son in law is quickly dealt with. This would be any that have purple hair,body piercings,tattoos,or a tee shirt that says I love to party.I am quite handy with a elasticator.5.TAGGING SHEEP...Last night while my husband slept,I ear tagged him. Have you ever seen a grown man cry? From now on he is to be reffered to as sheep number 165.
6.SHEEP DOG...Every good shepherd needs a proper sheep dog. Unfortunately all I have available is a very fluffy american eskimo. Not a problem. Please see #1. A little shearing and some carefully applied black spots I cut out of post it notes, and now I have a very good likeness of a border collie. He hasnt herded anything yet, but he did growl at me.I am the shepherd.I also will not bathe for three more days so I can become accustomed to the smell of my charge.
And Knocks Out A Few Competitors:
Great bread you baked there Kitchenmage! But it doesnt change the fact that LARB sounds like the noise a sheep would make if it got hold of a bad salt lick...LARB,GAG,PATOOEY,PATOOEY! Go ahead Farmgirl and Kitchenmage and try this. Stick your tongue out. No... I said stick your tongue way out,all the way out as far as it will go. Now pretend you just ate the most rancid cashew ever and say... LARB,GAG,PATOOEY,PATOOEY!
posted by Farmgirl Susan at 8:13 PM
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